This Morning Sky
by Janeway1390
Summary: Set around 7x10. Arizona is presumed dead after an accident in Africa, but Derek finds himself with an amnesiac patient that bears a striking resemblance to Seattle Grace's favorite Peds attending. Now Callie has to remind Arizona who she is.
1. Chapter 1

_June 23, 2010_

The gravity of what happened in the airport doesn't hit her until she's standing alone in a house the size of the studio apartment she lived in during college.

After boarding the plane in Seattle, she took more than the recommended dose of Ambien and passed out until she had to catch her connecting flight. She spent the next flight in a sleepy haze, failing to follow the latest Kate Hudson movie on the plane. The hours after that were spent meeting people and going over plans for her first day in the clinic. Even after getting dropped off at her new house, Arizona was able to busy herself with unpacking and going over charts.

With the files read and suitcases empty, there was nothing keeping her thoughts from drifting to the brunette who was supposed to be sitting next to her. Callie's devastated look filled her mind and Arizona did everything she could to push it away again. She couldn't afford to dwell on what happened. She had to focus on helping the children in Malawi. Avoidance was all she needed now.

* * *

><p><em>July 28, 2010<em>

The first month passed in such a blur that Arizona was sure Teddy was exaggerating when she said as much in her email. She and her best friend mainly talked about Malawi, patients, and Teddy's dating life. They never mentioned Callie, only in veiled statements like, "How's everyone in Seattle" and "We all really miss you."

Arizona was proud of that first month. She was able to lose everything and keep moving. She was a good man in a storm after all.

Still, the emptiness would hit her at odd times. She'd be in the middle of surgery and wonder what she and Callie would have for dinner or she'd wake up from a nap and expect a warm body to be there. Then, like a punch to the gut, Arizona would remember and a wave of loneliness would hit her.

* * *

><p><em>November 26, 2010<em>

"Are you okay?"

Arizona's head snapped up from her chart and the unexpected voice. It was Masamba, her trusted nurse. She wouldn't have survived the past six months without his help and guidance. He was an older man, about Chief Webber's age she guessed, and always seemed to know just what to say.

"Excuse me?"

"It's not my place, I know, but you don't seem happy Dr. Robbins."

"I'm happy Masamba."

He just smiles and nods, too polite to push the issue further. She sits and stares at him while wondering how transparent she is.

"I miss my girlfriend," she says quietly. It's the first time she's said it out loud. After six months of pent up emotion, Arizona finds herself silently crying when the weight of the words hit her.

"Do you want to go home," he replies with an understanding smile. "Can they replace you?"

She shakes her head no, but hears herself say, "Yes."

It's absurd. She is not leaving Malawi, everything she's worked for, because of a broken heart. She's not the type to potentially damage her career or shirk her responsibilities for some girl, but she suddenly understood why people do. Callie was more than "some girl."

That night, after she's talked to the Carter-Madison board and booked a flight, she emails Teddy to tell her the news. She intends to keep it short and sweet, but six months worth of words flow out of her. She talks about the crying and how she thought no one noticed. She gives her the flight details and ends with a "see you soon." Arizona knows it won't be easy, but she feels hopeful for the first time in a while.

* * *

><p><em>December 2, 2010<em>

"Today's the day Bailey!"

"Have you heard from her yet?"

"No," Teddy said falling into step with her fellow attending. "I offered to pick her up from the airport, but I think she wanted to go straight to Callie's."

"Well, let me know when she gets in. First round of celebratory drinks is on me."

Eleven hours later when she scrubbed out of surgery, Teddy expected to have a missed call or a text from Arizona, but had nothing. She called the blonde to check on her, but her cell went straight to voice mail. The board showed that Callie was in surgery so she went in search of Mark.

"Have you seen Callie recently?"

"We had breakfast together this morning and I saw her when she got in a few hours ago. What's up?"

"She didn't have any visitors last night?"

"No. Why?"

"No reason. Thanks Mark."

Teddy was starting to worry. Her friend was supposed to get back last night and she hadn't heard from her since their email exchange a few days ago.

* * *

><p><em>December 4, 2010<em>

"A-R-I-Z-O-N-A. Robbins, yes. She's a doctor at the new clinic," Teddy said frustrated. She was on the phone with the US consulate in Lilongwe and was getting nowhere. She had contacted the airline and found that Arizona never checked in to the flight, then she called the direct line to the clinic and a nurse told her Arizona had left for the airport days ago. Teddy was officially worried. "I already told you she's been missing for two days!"

The nurses turned to look as her voice rose and Bailey appeared next to her looking concerned.

"They said they already filed a report with local authorities, but they can't do anything else," Teddy told her covering up the end of the phone with her hand.

"Can't or won't?" Bailey replied with a raised eyebrow. Teddy had a feeling things would get done much faster if these people knew they would have to deal with Miranda Bailey.

She opened her mouth to reply, but then refocused her attention on the other end of the line.

"That's not acceptable. There has to be more you can do! . . . Oh, come on. . . . Do your job and find her or else I'm going to come to Malawi to find her myself!" Teddy yelled and slammed the phone down. These people were insufferable.

"If they don't call back with news in the next five hours, I'm booking a ticket," she told Bailey.

"Uh, is everything okay?"

Teddy froze. Callie was the last person she wanted to see right now. She had hoped to keep everything from her until they had real news, but it was hard to have secrets in this hospital.

"Callie, I don't want you to panic, but Arizona may be missing," Bailey said, saving her from breaking the news.

"Arizona is . . . how do you know?"

"She was coming home, Callie," Teddy said slowly. "She was supposed to get in Thursday night, but she didn't make it. I thought she went to find you, but when it became clear that didn't happen, I called the airline and they said she never checked in."

"Did she actually leave the clinic?"

"Yes."

"And no one knows where she is?" The grave looks on the doctors' faces told Callie all she needed to know. She felt like the wind had just been knocked out of her. "I-I need to sit."

Teddy put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I'm going to make sure they find her." Callie just nodded absently. Arizona was missing. In _Africa_. Images ran through her mind and Callie tried to keep the panic from rising. Why was Arizona coming back in the first place? It didn't take Callie long to answer that question. She put her head in her hands and began to cry.

* * *

><p><em>December 7, 2010<em>

"Dr. Altman, you have a phone call."

"I'm a little busy. Have them take a message," she told the nurse without looking up from the heart she was sewing back together.

"Dr. Altman, I think you want to take this now," something in the nurse's voice made Teddy's blood run cold.

"Yang, take over. Page me immediately if anything goes wrong." She hurried out of the OR and took the phone from the waiting nurse.

"This is Dr. Altman."

"Hello, Doctor. I'm with the Carter-Madison Foundation. We've done some digging into Dr. Robbins whereabouts and I'm sorry to tell you that she was in a car accident and is presumed dead."

Teddy lowered her head and let out a shuddering breath. "Are you sure?"

"Dr. Robbins' taxi was hit by a truck near the airport. There was a fire, but rescue teams found a passport and clinic ID that belonged to Dr. Robbins."

"What about . . . what about the body?" she asked trying to keep her tears at bay.

"I was told it was too . . . badly damaged," the man said trying his best to be delicate about the situation. "She's been buried, but of course arrangements can be made to bring her body home."

"I, uh, I'll talk to her parents and get back to you. Thank you." Teddy hung up the phone and sat in shocked silence. Arizona was dead. Arizona was _dead_. How could this happen? A thousand thoughts went running through her mind. She had to call Arizona's parents. She had to tell Bailey. She had to tell Callie. Oh God, she had to tell _Callie_. Arizona was supposed to come home and everything was going to be okay again. How the hell did this happen?

* * *

><p><em>January 30, 2011<em>

"Dr. Kelly, it's good to hear from you. Sorry I couldn't take your call earlier, I was called into surgery."

"Not a problem. Derek I have a special Jane Doe case I want you to look at. She was in a car accident and had some pretty severe brain injuries. We've done all we can, but we don't have the resources of Seattle Grace."

"Sure, what's the problem?"

"Retrograde amnesia. She's lost all of her episodic memory. Her motor functions are more or less intact, but she has a little trouble with certain movements or it takes her brain awhile to process what she wants it to do."

"Hmm. There could be a number of problems. Can you send me her file? I can take a look at the scans and see if there is anything I can do."

"Of course. I'll have them sent right away. Thanks Derek."

* * *

><p><em>January 31, 2011<em>

"Dr. Shepherd, those files from Vancouver General just arrived."

"Great. Thanks," Derek said taking the folder. He grabbed some coffee and headed to his office to look through the file and do some paperwork. Things at Seattle Grace Mercy West had been slow the past few days, giving the staff some much needed breathing room. Things had spiraled out of control after the news of Dr. Robbins death hit. Teddy had gone to Africa for a week, leaving them without a cardiothoracic surgeon, then they had a memorial service, which contributed to the air of sadness that filled the hospital. All of that on top of the usual holiday influx of patients and everyone in the hospital was a little on edge and exhausted.

Derek opened the file and glanced at the scans briefly before setting them aside. Apparently, the patient had been in a coma for a few days before she was transported to Vancouver General. Before that, she had rudimentary surgery in a hospital in . . . Africa. Mid-thirties. Female. Car accident in Africa. He rifled through the papers hoping Dr. Kelly included a photo of the patient. He knew it couldn't be true, but there was a nagging in the back of his head that told him to be sure.

Derek Shepherd had his demons, but he was never one to believe in ghosts until he saw the photo of Arizona Robbins staring back at him. He grabbed his phone and dialed the number of Vancouver Gen.

"I need to speak with Dr. Kelly right away."


	2. Chapter 2

_February 2, 2011_

Dr. Kelly had been shocked that Derek knew their Jane Doe. He gave the neurosurgeon a more detailed history of Arizona's journey from Africa to Vancouver. She had been one of the victims of an explosion when a taxi was hit by a gas truck. They think she had been standing far enough away to survive, but the blast caused her to fly back and hit her head. The doctors in Malawi had treated her cuts and broken bones and did their best to stop the bleeding in her brain. She had no ID, but apparently there was a one way ticket from Lilongwe to Vancouver in her jacket pocket, which had been badly burned, along with the majority of Arizona's right arm, and the only part of the name they could make out were the letters s-a-r. So they called her Sarah and once she was able to travel they sent her to Vancouver Gen. The local authorities had done everything they could to learn her identity, but nothing turned up.

"Sarah" was the hospital staff's favorite patient. She was polite, friendly, and despite her ordeal, quite perky. Dr. Kelly didn't want to send her out into the world with no money, no family, and no hope, so he called Derek hoping the renowned neurosurgeon could think of something they hadn't.

That's how Derek found himself at Sea–Tac waiting for Arizona's flight to arrive. The plan was to take her back to Seattle Grace, set her up in a room, run some new scans, and fix whatever was causing her amnesia without anyone in the hospital finding out. The Chief knew of course, as did Meredith, who would be helping him, and Bailey, because, well, Bailey was someone you wanted on your side at a time like this. He didn't want to keep Arizona a secret from anyone, but he knew the stress from the staff could do more harm than good. Also, the hospital was having a hard enough time with the news of Arizona's death and he didn't think they could handle it if she never regained her memory and was lost to them again.

A group of people made their way down the escalator toward baggage claim and Derek scanned the crowd for a flash of blonde hair. He felt a rush of emotion in his chest when he saw her. They hadn't been exceptionally close, but she was a part of the Seattle Grace family. They worked tough cases together, she came to holiday dinners, and he could always count on her to cheer him up. Seeing her again filled him more relief and joy than he could express.

"Dr. Shepherd, I presume," she said walking up to him.

"How'd you know it was me?"

"They said you'd be dreamy and you are the dreamiest guy here," she said with a grin.

He smiled at her and laughed. "Well, Sarah, are you ready to get your memory back?"

"You betcha."

/ / /

The late hour allowed Derek to sneak Arizona into her room without being seen. He had her sign the necessary paperwork and walked her through the tests he would need to do before he could come up with a plan.

"Is there anything else I can do for you Sarah?" he asked focusing on using her new name. There were a number of times on the drive over where he almost slipped and called her Dr. Robbins.

"No, I think I'm okay."

"Great. Well, Dr. Grey will be in soon to take you to CT. If you need anything don't hesitate to ask."

Not long after Dr. Shepherd left the door opened again. Dr. Grey, Meredith she said to call her, came to take her for her tests.

"Slow day, huh?"

"Why do you say that?"

"In Vancouver, the hallways were always full of people. Doctors and nurses running around or patients taking a stroll to break up the time spent in their rooms. I got used to the noise. It's so quiet here."

"It is a bit of a slow day," Meredith lied. She couldn't tell Arizona that they'd practically had the floor cleared until they were done in CT.

They chatted throughout the process and on the way back to her room. Meredith was shocked by how Arizona-like "Sarah" was acting. If it weren't for the missing memories, Meredith would swear nothing had happened. She filled Arizona in on all the hospital gossip, since the blonde didn't have much to offer in way of conversation. Of course, Arizona had no idea who any of the people she was talking about were, but she could tell the Peds surgeon loved the conversation.

Meredith settled Arizona back into her room and stayed so she wouldn't have to eat dinner alone. Her pager went off signaling the scans were ready and she stood.

"I've got to get those scans to Dr. Shepherd. Make sure you get some rest tonight. Dr. Shepherd and Dr. Bailey will be by in the morning."

* * *

><p><em>February 4, 2011<em>

News of a secret VIP patient spread through the halls of Seattle Grace like wildfire. For the past few days, floors had been cleared and testing rooms were off limits for periods of time. The Chief had told the entire hospital to leave the patient alone and that he would blacklist anyone from surgery if they went snooping.

"It's gotta be someone famous," Cristina said in between bites of her salad.

"I hear it was some foreign diplomat that was flown in from Vancouver," Alex responded setting his tray down and sliding into the chair across from them.

"You guys heard the Chief. No snooping."

"Come on, you know you're curious."

Meredith just shrugged. "I've got more important things to worry about. Like real surgeries."

Cristina scoffed, but dropped the subject. Meredith sighed. It was tough keeping this from everyone to begin with, but now the whole hospital was on high alert for the mysterious patient. She knew sooner or later someone was going to find out. Her pager blared and she picked it up before Cristina could sneak a look.

"Gotta go, guys."

/ / /

"So wait, she married a _patient_? That's dedication. Is he hot?"

"He's pretty cute," Bailey said with a chuckle. She was telling Arizona the latest from the Seattle Grace gossip mill.

"Any news on Sloan and Lexie?"

"Word is they were caught making out at Joe's last night. No confirmation on if they're back together yet."

"You tell me as soon as you know."

"Will do."

"How's my favorite patient this morning?" Derek said as he and Meredith entered the room.

"Ready for some good news."

"Well, I think I can help with that," he said pulling out her scans and clipping them to the light. "You see these two splotches there? Those are small brain bleeds. The doctors in Africa tried to fix them, but they didn't have the resources to get it all. They're both in the memory center of your brain and I think that is what's causing your amnesia."

"So you can fix it?" Arizona asked trying to keep the excitement out of her voice.

"I believe I can fix the bleeds, yes. I'll have to go in twice. The bigger one needs to be dealt with now and then once you've had time to heal we'll go back and get the second one. After that, we'll be able to see if that's the cause of the amnesia."

"So you're not sure if the surgery will help me get my memories back?"

"Not entirely, no. But those bleeds have to be fixed regardless. We'll worry about everything else once those are healed."

She sighed. She was hoping for better news, but she trusted Dr. Shepherd and had faith that he'd fix her.

"When do we do the first surgery?"

"Tomorrow morning, if that's okay with you."

She mustered her best dimpled smile. "Let's do it."

* * *

><p><em>February 5, 2011<em>

"Did you hear about the secret surgery Shepherd is doing on that mystery VIP patient?"

"Nope and I don't care, Mark," Callie said signing off on a chart and handing it back to the nurse.

"Oh, come on! I know you find this exciting," he said following her down the hallway.

"Maybe I'd find it exciting if the patient had broken bones to fix, but since they don't . . .," she shrugged.

Mark seemed to let the subject drop. "Hey, Lexie and I are going to try that new Thai place tonight. You should come with us! It'll be good for you to get out. I promise you'll have fun."

"Mark, my idea of fun does not involve watching you and Lexie make googly eyes at each other while you play footsie under the table. I just want to have a quiet night at home with a glass of wine and my DVR."

"Callie, all you do is have quiet nights at home," he said softly. "I know the past couple of months have been hard, but you need to get out more. It's not healthy staying cooped up in your apartment."

Callie stopped and tried to muster her deadliest glare, but she was too exhausted to even try. Instead, she just sighed and met his eyes.

"It's been two months since she died Mark. Before that it had been six months since she left. I know I've been in a funk for a long time, but if I didn't get over her leaving in six months, I'm certainly not going to get over her _dying_ in two." Her voice sounded more agitated than she felt, but she was just so _tired_. Tired of the sympathy looks and empty platitudes. She knew everyone meant well, they were all dealing with the loss of Arizona, but she needed people to stop giving her those looks filled with pity.

Mark didn't try to go up against the wall she built. They'd had this conversation many times in the last two months. "I'm not saying you need to. I'm just saying that I'm here if you need me."

/ / /

"How are you feeling Sarah?"

"I'm awesome."

Derek chuckled and nodded toward the anesthesiologist. "In a minute Dr. Warren is going to put you under and we'll get started."

She nodded and tried to relax. "How long is this going to take? Bailey will kill you if you make us miss _Castle_."

"We'll be done with time to spare."

"Sarah, can you count down from ten for me please?"

"Ten, nine, eight, sev . . ."

"She's out."

/ / /

"I think we got it all," Derek said setting the suction tube on the tray. "Why don't you close her up Dr. Grey."

"Wait a second, Dr. Shepherd. What is that dark area to the left of the bleed site?"

Derek peered through the scope to the area Meredith indicated. "There's damage here the scans didn't show. It looks like a large cerebral contusion," he said exploring the tissue with a probe. The monitor blared and he removed the probe to prevent further damage.

"She's in vfib."

"Get Altman in here now!"

/ / /

Teddy rushed into the OR and assessed the situation quickly. She was able to stabilize the patient without cracking her chest and gave Shepherd the go ahead to finish his surgery. It wasn't until she was confident the patient was okay that she looked at the woman on the table.

"So this is your VIP, huh?" The first thing she noticed was the blonde hair. When she reached the woman's face she thought she was hallucinating. Then Derek spoke and Teddy was sure she was going to be sick all over the OR floor.

"Dr. Altman, I need you to understand how important it is not to tell anyone."

Teddy took deep shuddering breathes to keep from hyperventilating. "I-I can't believe you hid this."

"Dr. Grey, will you please escort Dr. Altman out of the OR? I will finish up here and meet you in my office."

/ / /

"I don't understand why you didn't tell me. Didn't tell _Callie_!"

"The stress alone would have overwhelmed her, Teddy. She has no idea who she is and the last thing she needs is a bunch of people crying all over her trying to force her to remember. Besides, we need her to stay in the dark because if she starts to remember we have to be sure that she's actually remembering and not just believing the stories people tell her."

"I don't think you understand. She is my best friend. I thought she was gone, Derek. I even went to Africa to try and recover her body. Do you know how hard it's been? She was _dead_," her voice cracked. The tears she tried to force back flowed freely down her cheeks and she swiped them away with the back of her hand. "Is she going to be okay?"

"She's out of the woods for now. We got one of the bleeds and fixed the contusion. In a couple of days we'll go in for the other one and then we'll have a better idea if she'll regain her memory."

"C-Can I see her?"

Derek sighed. He wanted to keep the team small, but now that Teddy knew it would be pointless to try and stop her from seeing her friend. "Yes, but only as her doctor. She doesn't know who you are."

Teddy just nodded. She felt like she had spent the last few hours outside of her body. The pain of losing Arizona had almost been too much to bear. She went to Africa because she knew she'd have to see the body to really believe it, but that didn't help. For weeks, Callie had given her this look, silently begging her to say that she'd seen Arizona alive and well in Malawi. She'd felt guilty then, but couldn't imagine how she'd feel now that she had to keep the secret that Arizona was alive.

/ / /

Callie didn't know how she ended up at Joe's that night. Apparently, Yang rocked her surgery that day and wanted to celebrate. Somehow she agreed to go after Mark said he'd be there after dinner with Lexie.

"You want another drink?" Hunt asked her after downing the last of his beer.

"Sure. Thanks."

They had all been surprised when she showed up at the bar. Yang was already three drinks in and gave Callie an approving look when she sat down at the table with the rest of the surgeons. "You're welcome," she had said, the words slightly slurred. She then erupted into a fit of giggles and followed Meredith to the dance floor.

Now the crowd was bigger and rowdier and Callie kept watching the door waiting for Mark to show up. She wanted him to see her there so she could go home. Hunt set her drink down with a smile and she thanked him. Callie glanced up as the door opened, but it was only Teddy. The woman walked right up to the bar and quickly downed the shot that was placed in front of her.

"Looks like Teddy had a rough day," she said taking a sip of her drink.

Meredith stiffened beside her and followed her gaze to Teddy as she made her way to their table.

"I don't know why because I rocked that heart. All she had to do was watch," Cristina mumbled from across the table.

"How many have you guys had? I need to catch up," Teddy said throwing back her drink.

"You okay?"

Teddy nodded while avoiding Callie's eyes. Cristina mumbled something else and Meredith tried to hide a giggle.

"Don't you have patients you need to see?" Teddy asked Meredith. The venom in her voice was unmistakable.

"Yeah, didn't you operate on the VIP today? You didn't screw it up, did you?"

"Alex!" Meredith scolded.

Teddy glanced at Callie horrified then pushed her chair back. "I can't be here."

"What was that about?" Callie asked as she watched her go.

"Rough day," Meredith replied taking another sip of her drink.

/ / /

It was close to 1:00 AM by the time Callie made it back to her apartment. She had bought out the subletters shortly before the news of Arizona's death, but two months later most of her boxes remained unpacked. The brunette couldn't even bring herself to sleep in the bedroom so she spent her nights fighting for sleep on the couch.

It was times like these she would miss Arizona most. Most nights after drinking at Joe's would be spent ripping each other's clothes off on the way to the bedroom. After, Callie would pad into the kitchen wearing nothing but a sheet and grab some cold pizza for them to share. They'd laugh and talk about the most random things as their buzz wore off. Arizona was always the first to succumb to the hazy affects of the alcohol and would nuzzle into Callie's neck with a trail of soft kisses.

Tonight all the alcohol did was make it harder to focus her brain on anything but Arizona. Callie started to cry as she burrowed deeper into her blanket. The rush of memories tore open the scab she was desperately trying to heal as the cries turned into sobs. How was this ever going to get better?

* * *

><p>AN: Thank you all for the reviews! I'm glad you like the story. I'll do my best to make updates fairly regular.


	3. Chapter 3

_February 6, 2011_

Teddy couldn't take her eyes off Arizona's heart monitor. The steady beep, beep, beep, was the only thing tethering her to reality. After leaving Joe's she came straight back, knowing she couldn't just sit around at home waiting to see her friend again. Bailey had been relieved to have someone take over her watch and left to get some much needed sleep in the

on-call room down the hall.

Overwhelmed with emotion at seeing Arizona again, Teddy sat in the chair next to her bed and silently cried. She wanted to get it all out now so she could stay composed when the blonde woke up. She remembers going to the clinic in Malawi and being met by the devastated faces of the doctors and nurses who had worked with Arizona for six months. The Peds surgeon never knew how big of a mark she made in people's lives. If Arizona hadn't taken her under her wing when she first arrived in Seattle, Teddy had no idea where she'd be. She vowed to do whatever she had to to repay the favor and help Arizona get her memory back.

The blonde's chest rose and fell in rhythm with the beeps while Teddy's thoughts drifted to Callie. They had to tell her. After coming down from the initial shock, she knew Derek was trying to do what was in the patient's best interest, but Callie deserved to know. If anyone would be able to help Arizona remember who she was, it would be her.

An hour later when Teddy was fighting sleep, Arizona woke up. The blonde looked disoriented and a little scared until her eyes fell on Teddy.

"Hey, there," Teddy said softly. "I'm Dr. Altman, but call me Teddy."

Arizona nodded as she tried to break through her drug-induced haze. "I can't believe you married a patient."

Teddy froze. Everything about that statement was so Arizona that she had to fight the rising hope that her best friend knew who she was.

"Excuse me?"

"Bailey told me about you and your insurance husband. She said he's hot, but I'm reserving judgment until I see him for myself."

"_Bailey_ told you that?"

"Yeah. Every day she gives me an update on all the gossip at the hospital."

"Bailey doesn't gossip."

"You wouldn't think so," she said her brow furrowing. "I mean, I don't even know her that well, but I can tell she's not the gossip type. Yet, every time she comes in here she has a new juicy tidbit for me."

"Huh."

"Don't blame her though. I don't have much to offer in the way of conversation and hospital gossip is the easiest thing to bond over."

Teddy smiled and stood, grabbing the stethoscope from around her neck. "I'll remember that. If you don't mind I'd like to check your vitals."

"How'd the surgery go?"

"There were a few complications, but it went well. Dr. Shepherd found a contusion that he thinks may be a factor in your amnesia, but he fixed it along with the first bleed. You coded on the table, but he called me in and I was able to stabilize you."

"Should I be worried?"

"No. I think it was a result of all the stress your body has been under. To be on the safe side I'd like you to take it easy the next few days."

"No marathons. Got it."

Arizona liked Teddy. She had a warm quality about her, a comforting smile and seemed like good friend material. If there was something Arizona needed right now, it was a friend. Dr. Shepherd, Meredith, and Bailey were all nice, and she was thankful that they took the extra time to hang out with her, but they were still her doctors. They were more concerned with her vitals and brain bleeds than they were about her as a person. She didn't blame them, they were trying to help her find herself again, but this person she was now, Sarah, was stuck in a lonely limbo. She tried to her best to put on a brave face and a smile, but the constant solitude in this tiny room was getting to her.

"Teddy," she said tentatively. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Am I some big secret or something?"

Teddy's face was panicked as she searched for the right answer. Arizona had asked the question as an ice breaker to find why she wasn't really allowed to leave the room, but she hadn't actually believed that she was a secret.

"Oh my God, I'm a _secret_. Why am I a secret?"

"You're not a secret, per se," Teddy said trying to recover from the shock of Arizona's question. She was adding this to the list of reasons why she was going to kill Derek Shepherd. She didn't know if they had a contingency plan for this, but Teddy knew it was best to tell her as much truth as possible. She didn't like lying to her best friend.

"The thing is, Sarah, one of our surgeons . . . died not too long ago and you remind us a bit of her. I think Dr. Shepherd is trying to shield you from becoming part of the Seattle Grace Mercy West gossip mill you love so much."

"Ah, so that explains the crying." Arizona had noticed the strange looks and wet eyes from the nurses in the OR and the CT technician on her first night. Teddy gave her a questioning look so she elaborated. "People tend to cry around me. They try to hide it, like you're doing right now. Don't think I didn't notice those puffy red eyes of yours. Bailey hid it better."

"Sorry about that," Teddy said amazed at the blonde's deductive skills. "I'm going to talk to Dr. Shepherd though to see if we can't take you on a few field trips."

"I'd like that. Also, Teddy, you're going to be friends with me."

"I am?" Teddy asked flashing back to the same conversation she had with Arizona last year.

"Oh yeah, I'm an awesome friend. Plus, you like you need someone to talk to and I've got plenty of time to listen." Arizona flashed her a genuine smile and Teddy couldn't help but feel relieved. It was good to know that some traits were inherently Arizona and that she hadn't completely lost her friend.

/ / /

"Derek, we have got to tell Callie."

Derek sighed, knowing this conversation was inevitable.

"I agree," Bailey said while Meredith nodded next to her. Teddy was grateful for the support.

"I know," Derek said. "I know we can't keep this from her any longer. I don't want to keep Arizona a secret; I'm just trying to do the right thing for my patient."

"Her shift ends in a couple of hours," Teddy said. "You know she's going to kill you Derek."

"Oh, I know."

"What about the rest of the hospital," Bailey asked. "We can't keep Arizona locked in her room."

"Let's let Callie get adjusted first, then we'll make an announcement."

While Teddy was relieved they were finally going to tell Callie, she dreaded the moment when they actually would. It was going to be rough. This was her aspirational couple they were talking about after all. Seeing Callie so hurt after Arizona left was hard, but reading that last email from her best friend was brutal. Arizona had no one to share her pain with. No one that would understand anyway. Then on the day she's supposed to fly back to the woman she loved, she loses her memory. Nothing about this situation was easy.

/ / /

"You paged me, Shepherd?"

"I did. Come sit, Torres."

"What is this? Some sort of intervention?" Callie joked. The faces of Shepherd, Altman, and Bailey stared back at her mirthlessly. She racked her brain for something she did that would warrant this or a patient they had in common, but came up empty. The tension in the room was thick.

"I want to talk to you about the VIP patient we're treating. The patient is female, mid-thirties, who is suffering from amnesia after being in an accident. We're working on her brain bleeds and I hope she'll regain her memory after those are healed."

Callie nodded. She started to calm down a bit after thinking they needed her for some sort of consult. The brunette was glad because after Joe's last night and her hangover this morning, she did not need any bad news.

"The woman was flown in from Vancouver General. Before that, she was treated in Africa . . . in Malawi." Malawi. Africa. Callie shuddered every time she heard those words. It was bad enough having Arizona's ghost haunt her everywhere she went, now she was going to have some African patient to remind her of what she lost.

"It's Arizona, Callie. The patient is Arizona."

The world stilled and Callie was pretty sure she stopped breathing. People didn't normally do this, talk so freely about her. After she got over the shock of hearing her name, Callie began to process what Derek had said. Arizona was the patient. What?

"I don't know if you think this is funny, but it's a pretty sick joke." Callie felt her cheeks redden and tied to control the burning sensation in her body.

"It's really her, Callie," Teddy said a little taken aback by the brunette's response. "I've talked to her."

After the numbness wore off, the first thing Callie registered was relief. Complete earth-shattering relief. Arizona was alive. Arizona was _alive_. Something in her chest broke. She figured it was the wall that had built itself around her heart since the blonde left all those months ago. Then the confusion hit. How was this possible? They found her ID next to a burned body in a taxi. The African authorities said they were positive it was Arizona. Did she remember anything? Could she go see her? Could she handle it? Then the anger hit. Arizona was the VIP patient. The VIP patient had been here for a week and they were just telling her now. What gave them the right to keep something this big from her, especially since they all knew how much pain she was in?

"Derek Shepherd, I would kill you right now if you weren't Arizona's best shot at getting her memory back. After that though, I'd watch your back." Though the hostile intent was clear the words sounded hollow in Callie's hears because mostly, all she felt was joy. The woman she loved, the woman she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, the woman she had mourned for months, was alive. There were no words to express the joy she felt.

/ / /

Callie found herself standing outside Arizona's room after Teddy and Bailey filled her in on the rest of the details. They told her she went by Sarah, which Callie thought was absurd because Arizona looked nothing like a Sarah, that she was mostly her same perky self and that she retained her fondness for the word "awesome."

It was strange seeing the blonde sleeping peacefully, close enough to touch, after dreaming about it for so long. Her hair was a bit darker, she was paler, but Callie imagined if she could see her eyes they'd be the same bright blue. Part of her expected to cry with relief upon seeing her again, but Callie had no more tears to give. Her crying episode last night had left her drained and exhausted beyond words and besides, she didn't want to cry anymore, she was so over crying.

Meredith came to check on Arizona while Callie took the time to gather her thoughts outside her room. Should she go in and introduce herself? The romantic in her wished that Arizona would magically remember after seeing Callie again, but the surgeon in her knew that was just a fantasy. What would she say to her? Somehow, "Hi, I'm Callie and we're kind of in love," didn't seem to be the right thing, but it was only thing she could think of. Meredith left a few minutes later giving her a nod indicating it was okay to go in. Instead, Callie just continued to sit outside her room. She wasn't ready to go in yet. She sat there thinking about the past eight months and how mad she had been at Arizona when she left. She thought about those times she was this close to buying a one way ticket to Malawi just to be close to Arizona again.

Callie figured she was sitting there for at least twenty minutes when the heart monitor inside Arizona's room blared. Teddy had said there had been some complications in the surgery and a thousand scenarios rushed through Callie's head as she shot up and ran into the room. She expected to see Arizona flat lining or seizing, but did not expect her to be straining to reach the water on the far end of her bedside table.

"Are you okay?" she asked rushing over to pick the pulse oximeter off the ground and canceled the code alert.

"Yeah, sorry. I was just thirsty and when I reached over to get water the little finger thingie fell off."

"The finger thingie?" Callie chuckled pouring Arizona a glass of water. "Here you go."

"Thanks . . . Dr. Torres," Arizona said craning her neck to see the name written across Callie's coat. "Oh, you must be Callie!"

The brunette's heart skipped a beat. Hearing Arizona say her name again was the greatest feeling and she fought the urge to wrap her arms around the blonde. "What's Bailey told you about me?" she asked knowing that Arizona probably already had the full rundown. Well, at least the parts she wasn't in.

"Not much. You are one of the mysterious ones." Bailey told her she was an orthopedic surgeon and that she was one of the best, but that was about it. Arizona could think of a thousand other things that Bailey should have told her. Like Callie was beautiful, and sexy, and had a smile that lit up the room. Best of all, something about the other woman made her heart flutter. It was something she had never felt before, not that she could remember anyway.

"Well, what do you want to know?" Callie asked pulling a chair next to Arizona's bed.

_Everything_. Arizona wanted to know everything. "Why don't you start from the beginning?"

And Callie did. She told Arizona about growing up in Miami, going to med school, and ending up at Seattle Grace. They talked until Arizona couldn't fight sleep anymore. Callie told her to rest and that she'd come back with lunch tomorrow. It was the first night in months Callie left the hospital happy.


	4. Chapter 4

_February 7, 2011_

Arizona hardly slept that night. She was too wired with excitement for her lunch with Callie and the buzz from their late night conversation never really wore off. Her body was on fire in the best possible way. Callie told her about her time in the Peace Corps, her famous chicken piccata, and some of her favorite surgeries. Arizona noticed how she didn't talk about her personal life, except for her best friend Mark, and she was hesitant to ask in case she didn't like the answer. It was absurd, she knew, but something about Callie was so familiar. The way she threw her head back when she really laughed, the gestures she made when she was excited, even the way Arizona could predict what she was going to say next by the way her brow furrowed. Best of all, there was this look Callie would give her, a mix of amazement and . . . something else she couldn't quite pinpoint, but she was looking forward to figuring out what that other thing was.

The clock next to her bed read 12:15 PM. Callie would be here any minute. Arizona checked her reflection in the TV across from her and tried to make her hair look more presentable. She was a little surprised by how nervous she was. They were just having lunch. There was nothing to be nervous about. She closed her eyes and tried to push the butterflies back down.

"Hey," Callie said softly, startling Arizona out of her reverie. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you!"

"It's okay," Arizona replied with a shaky laugh. "I kinda zoned out for a minute. What'd you bring me?"

"Pizza. I wasn't sure what kind of food you liked and figured everyone liked pizza." The real reason was that pizza was kind of their thing. Some couples went wine tasting or tried the most exotic restaurants, but she and Arizona ate a lot of pizza. Callie wouldn't have it any other way.

"Oh, I love pizza. There was this great place down the street from the hospital in Vancouver that the nurses would take me to sometimes."

"What was it like in Vancouver?" Callie asked as she handed Arizona a slice and moved to sit in the chair next to her bed. She really wanted to know more about what this ordeal had been like from Arizona's side. There was so much that they were still in the dark about.

"Cold." Arizona faked a shiver. "The doctors and nurses were really nice to me, just like everyone here. Though now that I've spent more time here I think they were doing it because they felt sorry for me. I had no memories, no friends, no money. I didn't even know if Sarah was my real name."

"_It's not. Your name is Arizona,"_ Callie wanted to say.

"But here . . . here it feels different. Here it feels like you want to be friends with me for me, not because you feel sorry for me." Arizona looked down, not planning on being so open with Callie. Really discussing her feelings was new to her and it felt strange to be emotionally vulnerable. She didn't have a reason to be so vulnerable before. She looked up shyly to meet Callie's eyes and was met with a smile that made her butterflies come roaring back.

"We are your friends," Callie said sincerely. "You think Bailey would gossip with you if we weren't?"

Arizona laughed softly, relieved. They continued to eat while Callie steered the conversation back to the happenings around Seattle Grace. She could tell Arizona was a little uncomfortable being so open and wanted to make her feel less nervous. The nerves in the blonde were easy to pick up on and Callie found it endearing. The brunette on the other hand, hadn't been so comfortable in months. Arizona had this amazing ability to calm her while simultaneously making her feel like every part of her was on fire. It felt so good to feel like that again.

"Do you mind if I ask what it was like when you first woke up in Africa?" Callie was sure it was a sensitive subject, but she was so curious.

Arizona's face darkened as her eyes fell from Callie's face to the floor. "You know what? Forget I asked. It's none of my business."

"It was scary," Arizona said softly. Callie was right; it was a sensitive topic, but the blonde needed to get it off her chest. The fear she felt when she first woke up still followed her. "I was disoriented and confused and couldn't communicate very well with anyone at the clinic where I was treated. It was extremely isolating and incredibly lonely. I didn't know what was wrong, had no idea who I was, and had no one to talk to for days. Then I found myself waiting in an airport and didn't know why. A nurse, Nancy, had flown all the way from Canada to pick me up and fly back with me. I was so relieved to finally have someone to talk to who could tell me what was going on. Sometimes, though, when I wake up I have that moment of panic before I register that I'm here and not in that clinic."

Arizona barely had time to wipe a lone tear away before Callie's arms wrapped around her in a crushing hug. The blonde relished the comfort and returned the hug with the same force. She had been desperate for human contact and somehow being held by Callie made her feel safe and secure for the first time.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through that alone," Callie said, her voice thick with emotion. Reluctantly, she pulled away and met Arizona's watery blue eyes. "I know you haven't known me long, but I'll always be here if you need to talk."

"Thank you, Callie. I really appreciate that."

There was a knock and both women turned to see Derek standing in the doorway. "I hate to interrupt, but I want to go over the latest films with you." Arizona nodded and motioned for him to come in.

"I've got to go anyway," Callie said grabbing her coat. "My shift starts in a few minutes. If you want I can stop by tonight."

"I'd like that." Callie smiled and gave her a small wave as she headed out the door.

"So, Sarah, I'd like to do your next surgery in a couple of days. Dr. Altman wants to give your body a chance to recover so we don't risk another cardiac arrest. Your last CT showed that the first bleed and the contusion we found are healed and the last bleed doesn't seem to be growing, so it seems like everything is set."

"That's great."

"Have you had any memory flashes or confusion?"

"Nope, no new memories, but I did remember that I like girls."

Derek tried to hide a smile. He knew he caught Arizona checking Callie out as she walked away. "What makes you say that? Could be a memory resurfacing."

"Well, Dr. McDreamy, you live up to your nickname with the smile, charm, and perfect hair, but you just don't do it for me. Callie . . . I barely know her, but _she_ gives me butterflies."

/ / /

Callie could not stop thinking about Arizona. She was horrified by what she went through in Africa and felt guilty that she hadn't been there to help her through it all. The surgeon also felt extremely guilty for lying to her about who she was. If, _when_ Callie corrected herself, Arizona got her memories back, she knew the blonde was going to kill her.

The more time she spent with her, the more the lines started to blur. She hadn't planned on flirting with Arizona; she just wanted to be a friend through the process because she didn't want to complicate the process further. The woman she loved thought she was someone named Sarah and while the basics of Arizona's personality were the same, like the perkiness and warmth, the memories and experiences that made Arizona _Arizona_ were blatantly lacking. Still, her heart was drawn to the blonde just the same. Her plan was still stick close, but not close enough to cross the line until they knew what the future of her condition looked like.

"Hey, Torres," Teddy greeted as she collapsed on the couch in the break room. She was exhausted and just wanted her shift to be over so she could go home and sleep. "I heard you saw Arizona again this afternoon. How's she doing?"

"She seems okay. Shepherd wants to do the last surgery in the next couple of days."

"And how are you doing? This is weird for me, pretending we're not already best friends, but I can't imagine how weird it is for you."

"Honestly, it's confusing," Callie said pouring herself a cup of coffee before she took a seat across from Teddy. "I mean, my first instinct is to slip into girlfriend mode and half the time I just want to kiss her. The other half of me is still so mad at her for leaving and I thought that thinking she died and getting her back would make that go away, but it doesn't."

"That's natural. You guys have a long history together and when she gets her memories back you'll still have things to work through."

"And that's the other thing. What if she doesn't get them back? I've been trying to stay positive, but I'm scared she won't remember. I love her so much and nothing will change that, but what if she isn't the same Arizona. She seems like she can be now, but what about long term?"

"Then you'll just have to show her who she is."

Callie sighed and leaned her head against the back of the couch. Teddy studied her wondering what was really going on inside the brunette's mind. She knew Callie was overjoyed at having Arizona back, but she was being oddly reserved and detached about the whole situation.

"What is this really about? I get that you're scared, but you don't seem happy at all right now, when you should be jumping up and down that Arizona is alive." She'd been detached since Derek first told her the news, at first it was from shock, but now it was from fear. Arizona had been coming back for her, but just showing up on her doorstep one night would not have fixed the situation. They had a lot to work through, but she knew they could do it. But what would happen if she never remembered?

"I was unsure about Arizona's feelings after she left. It was hard to imagine she cared at all after she left me standing in an airport and then I didn't hear from her at all. But at least there is a foundation there that we can work through. I'm terrified that if she doesn't get her memories back then . . .," Callie's voice broke and she couldn't keep the tears at bay any longer. "What if she doesn't love me? What if this new Arizona never will? I can't lose her again."

Teddy's face softened and she put a comforting hand on Callie's shoulder. "I saw her today, probably about three hours after you had been there, and all she could talk about was you. You should have seen the way her face lit up. Arizona loves you Callie, that's why she came back. Even without her memories you are still her whole world. Nothing will ever change that."

/ / /

Callie felt better after her talk with Teddy. After getting everything off her chest she felt lighter and more optimistic. She had wanted to go visit Arizona after her consult, but got paged to the pit after a massive MVA was called in. The next six hours were spent doing emergency surgery on a sixteen year old boy. Fortunately, she was able to save his leg and with physical therapy he'd probably be able to play soccer again.

It was well past 2:00 AM by the time Callie had scrubbed out and talked to the family. She knew Arizona would be asleep, but wanted to stop by and check on her anyway. Before she had scrubbed in Callie had sent an intern to tell Arizona that she wouldn't be able to make her promised visit because she didn't want the blonde to think she had stood her up. The intern had come back with a message: "Kick butt on your surgery and bring me donuts in the morning." Callie planned to do just that, but she had one more thing to take care of before she headed home for the night. She'd thought a lot about what Arizona had said about the panic she would feel when she first woke up and short of being there every morning to tell her it was okay, Callie had the perfect idea. She stopped by the hospital gift shop and picked up a teddy bear wearing a Seattle Grace Mercy West doctor's coat and headed up to Arizona's room. As predicted, the blonde was fast asleep. Careful not to wake her, Callie tiptoed into the room and moved the sliding table into Arizona's line of sight so it would be the first thing she'd see when she woke up. She placed the bear and a note on the table hoping they'd help Arizona get over her panic. Before leaving, Callie leaned down and placed a soft kiss on the blonde's forehead.

A/N: Once again, thank you all so much for the reviews. I'm floored by the reaction to this story and appreciate all of your feedback. Hopefully this will help get us all through the hiatus!


	5. Chapter 5

_February 10, 2011_

Arizona woke up to Franklin grinning at her, just as she had every morning since Callie had given her the bear. She remembered that first morning waking up confused as to why a fluffy bear in a doctor's coat was staring back at her. Then she read the note from Callie explaining the bear was a reminder that she was waking up safely in Seattle and that she didn't have to panic or worry. It was the first time she hadn't woken up panicked in weeks. She smiled reaching over to rub the furry bear's head and looked up to see Meredith writing down notes in her chart.

"Good morning."

Meredith jumped slightly and chuckled when she met her eyes. "Sorry if I woke you. I'm just doing your work up to prepare for the surgery later today. How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay," Arizona said rubbing her eyes. "Ready to be done with all the surgeries."

"I bet. Everything looks good. I'll be by in a couple of hours to take you to the OR."

Arizona nodded. She was a little nervous about having Dr. Shepherd cut into her brain again, but hoped that after this she'd either remember her life or be able to really move on and start a new one. Being stuck in limbo was frustrating.

The upside to being in limbo was that she got to spend a lot of time with Callie. It was the bright spot of her day, the time she would spend with the brunette talking, eating, and laughing. There was always a lot of laughing. Callie would come for lunch or dinner, in-between surgeries, and after shifts. They spent a lot of time together and if Arizona didn't know better, she'd say she was starting to develop strong feelings for the woman.

"Someone slept in this morning," Callie said strutting into the room. "I came in a few hours ago before my shift started and you were still sleeping."

"Well, _someone_ kept me up late last night. I had to catch up on my beauty sleep."

Callie smiled and sat down next to Arizona. The blonde eyed her coffee cup and tried to reach over and grab it. "Uh-uh, you have surgery today. No coffee for you."

Arizona pouted. "Fine, but that means I can withhold something from you."

"Heard that before," Callie said under her breath. Arizona had a tendency to withhold sex when Callie was "bad," which usually worked really well. She wished she could say she had more willpower than that, but the withholding of sex, dimples, and exasperated "Calliope" would wear down her defenses.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing," Callie said barely able to hide her smirk.

"You seem rather chipper today."

"I am. I rocked a surgery this morning, you have surgery and will probably be getting your memories back soon, and this coffee tastes _fantastic_."

Arizona pursed her lips and stared at the coffee before glaring at Callie. She really wanted some of that coffee. The blonde wasn't quite sure what to make of the other woman being excited over her getting her memories back. Sure, as a friend she would want what's best for her, but what if Arizona's memories revealed a girlfriend or a completely different life that Callie couldn't fit into? Arizona wanted Callie to be part of her life and, based on the looks the other woman gave her, she was pretty sure Callie wanted to be part of her life too.

"Hey, what's wrong? I didn't mean to tease you about the coffee."

"It's not that. Well, yeah, that was mean, but I guess," Arizona trailed off trying to find the right way to explain things to Callie. They hadn't really talked about their relationship and the last thing she wanted to do was scare the brunette off, but she needed some reassurance from her. "I guess I'm just a little nervous about the surgery."

Callie gave her a sympathetic look, set down her coffee, and took her hand. "You are going to fine. Dr. Shepherd is the best and I'll be right here when you wake up."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

/ / /

Arizona's nerves returned in full force by the time Meredith came to take her into surgery. She was disconnected from machines and given the final rundown on what the operation would entail. The only thing keeping her from freaking out was Callie's hand in hers.

"I'll give you two a minute," Meredith said quietly exiting the room.

"Are you ready?" Callie asked keeping hold of her hand while she stood.

"As I'll ever be."

"Hey, you're gonna be fine. You'll be back to stealing my coffee in no time." Callie gave her a quick hug and accompanied them to the OR. She had fought with Derek briefly about being in the room during the surgery, but she knew there was no way they'd actually let her. Instead, she planned on grabbing a quick lunch then was going to nervously watch from the gallery. She waited until Arizona disappeared behind the OR doors before saying a quick prayer for the blonde.

/ / /

Arizona stared at the ceiling waiting for Dr. Shepherd to arrive. She kept nervously glancing at the gallery windows hoping to catch a glimpse of Callie, but the room was empty.

"Okay, Sarah," Derek said coming into the OR. "Dr. Warren is going to administer your anesthesia now."

"Hold on, Derek," she said locking eyes with him. "I need to know that I'm going to wake up from this. I've had a ton of surgeries and have never been nervous about the outcome until now. These last two months have been spent looking backwards. My whole life has been about getting my memories back and remembering who I am. I never had a reason to look to the future . . . until now. I have friends. I have Callie. I've got a shot at a real life here. Before I just cared about remembering, but now I care about _living_. So, you can do this right?"

"I can do this," he said sincerely. "We're going to take good care of you."

Once Arizona was out Derek looked up to see Callie nervously fidgeting in the gallery. He met her eyes and gave a reassuring nod before he began the procedure. The brunette looked away, not wanting to see Arizona's skull cut open. She sat there quietly for an hour fixated on every move Derek made until Mark snapped her out of her trance.

"How's Blondie doing?"

"She's doing great."

"And how are you doing?

"I'm alright. I'm anxious to see if this surgery will fix her memory the way Derek thinks it will. I miss her Mark. I miss her so much even though she's right here."

"What if she never gets her memory back?" he asked softly. It was always the elephant in the room when they talked about Arizona.

"Nothing will change. If this ordeal taught me anything, it's how much I love her. And I'll continue to love her whether she's Arizona or Sarah or some mixed version of the two. We're meant to be together. Any idiot can see that," she said playfully elbowing her best friend.

"Even this idiot can," he said with a chuckle. "You think this new version of Blondie even likes you?"

"Oh, she likes me. No one can resist the Torres charm."

"Do you have a back-up plan in case this doesn't work? Are you going to tell her who she is or let her stay Sarah forever?"

Callie sighed. She'd given this a lot of thought. In fact, she wished they'd been honest with Arizona about who she was in the first place. She was going to be rightfully pissed when they finally told her the truth.

"I'm going to tell her. I have to. I don't know, maybe explaining her life and surrounding her with familiarity will trigger her memory. Plus, I refuse to call her Sarah for the rest of our lives."

/ / /

Arizona opened her eyes slowly. The harsh lights of the hospital hurt her head and she blinked rapidly trying to focus. She smiled when she saw Franklin. That must be a good sign. If she remembered the bear that meant Dr. Shepherd hadn't scrambled her brain. She looked over to see Callie's head resting on their joined hands. The blonde felt a pang of . . . déjà vu or familiarity about the situation, but blamed it on the drugs. Something about Callie sleeping next to her felt so right. She jostled in the bed trying to push herself into a more comfortable position and accidently woke the brunette.

Callie's head rose sleepily. "Oh, hey you're up. You feeling okay?"

"Yeah," Arizona said staring at her. The odd familiar feeling didn't go away and intensified when her eyes met Callie's. It was strange, the way it made her heart soar and break at the same time.

"What is it?" Hope fluttered in Callie's chest. When she looked into those blue eyes she swore see could see the old Arizona in them. The moment passed too quickly as the blonde blinked and shook her head.

"Nothing. I think the drugs are making things a little foggy. How'd the surgery go?"

"Perfectly. Dr. Shepherd fixed the bleed and closed you up. It was as textbook as you could hope for."

"So what happens now?"

"Now you rest. We'll worry about everything else in the morning."

_February 13, 2011_

Arizona didn't remember anything. It'd been a long three days of tests and memory exercises. Callie told her stories, brought food from her favorite restaurants, and even talked about Arizona's favorite patients trying to jog her memory, but nothing seemed to work. Callie was frustrated. Derek said it might take Arizona some time for her memory to restore itself, but she lost hope each day that passed.

For her part, Arizona seemed to be taking everything in stride. She knew the blonde grew restless of the countless tests and would get irritated when they pushed her too far. Not that Callie blamed her. The constant nagging she got from Teddy, Derek, Meredith, and Callie herself must have been incredibly frustrating. Derek was working tirelessly on other options, but he did mention that it was time they start thinking about what to do once her recovery was over. Callie hoped they wouldn't have to worry about that. In her head, Arizona would miraculously remember one morning and they'd start putting the pieces of their shattered relationship back together, then they'd live happily ever after with their ten kids. She clung to that on days like this when her hope was dwindling.

She made her way to Arizona's room after a hell of a shift. On days like this the only thing that used to get her through would be the thought of curling up with Arizona in the warmth of their bed. She'd pick up pizza or take out and Arizona would be waiting for her at home with a glass of wine and her best super magic smile. More than anything Callie wished she could go home to that tonight.

When she entered the room the blonde was idly flipping through the TV. She gave Callie a tired smile. "You look like you've had about as good of a day as I've had."

"Yeah. We can compare notes later," she replied tiredly.

"Callie, you look exhausted. It's okay for you to go home. Really."

"It's okay. I probably wouldn't be able to sleep anyway."

Arizona understood. She hadn't exactly been sleeping either. The stress of the past few days was making it impossible for her to sleep for more than a few hours a night. If she was honest with herself, Callie was a big reason for her insomnia. She thought they were getting somewhere, really connecting, but the brunette had been working so hard to help her with her memory. She couldn't understand why Callie would do that if she was truly interested in her.

"Look, I know we are both incredibly tired and this probably isn't the best time for this conversation," Arizona said. Her exhaustion and frustration must be making her brave. "But I like you Callie. I like you a lot and I guess I just don't understand why you are pushing so hard for me to get my memories back because I'm pretty sure you like me too. I mean, what if I the old me is a completely different person or what if our lives are too different for us to work?"

Callie opened her mouth to speak, but Arizona held up a hand to silence her. "I've secretly been wishing that I wouldn't get my memories back because I don't want to lose you. That may sound horrible, but I don't care. I'm scared that my old life isn't as good as this." Arizona's voice broke as tears filled her eyes.

"It is as good as this. It's so much better," Callie said while her own eyes filled with tears.

"You can't know that."

"But I do," she said taking the blonde's hand. "I know it is because your name's not Sarah. It's Arizona Robbins. And you'll never lose me because I am in love with you."


	6. Chapter 6

_February 13, 2011_

Arizona's blank face stared back at her for several moments. "Y-You know who I am?"

Callie nodded. "You're Arizona Robbins," she said again.

"How long? How long have you known?"

The brunette's eyebrows drew together in confusion. Did she miss the _"I love you"_ part? "Uh . . . a couple of years."

"What?"

"That's how long I've known you. You're a surgeon here. You have been for a couple of years."

Arizona's face went blank again as she processed the new information. She was a doctor? A doctor at Seattle Grace Mercy West? For years. These people had known her for _years_ and they hadn't said anything? Anger rose up in her chest and she struggled to keep it at bay.

"Why are you just telling me now?"

The blonde's voice was tight and her brow furrowed in a look Callie recognized. Arizona was _pissed_. Callie sat up straighter in an attempt to prepare herself for the verbal onslaught she knew was coming. This was just another thing to add to the list of reasons why she was going to kill Derek Shepherd for his stupid plan.

"Well, due to the nature . . .," Callie started to explain the reasoning behind their actions, but Arizona tuned out. She went over the conversations she had with Callie, and Teddy, and Derek and counted the numerous opportunities they had to tell her. There were a lot. It made more sense to her now, the way Callie fought so hard to help her with her memory and those looks she would give her. That other thing mixed with amazement, the one she had trouble pinpointing, was love.

"You said something about being in love with me," she interrupted.

"I did." Callie imagined she looked like a dear in the headlights right about now.

"Did that happen before or after I lost my memory?"

"Before. A long time before. We were in a relationship up until you left for Africa."

"Was I in love with you too?"

"Yes," Callie said trying to keep her composure as tears threatened to overcome her. "At least you were. You left and . . . I wasn't so sure anymore, but I'm pretty sure that's why you decided to come back from Africa. You're accident was on the day you were supposed to fly home."

She was in love with Callie. That wasn't exactly news to her, but it explained the feelings of familiarity. Arizona felt a sting of betrayal and looked down at her hands. "I need you to leave."

"Arizona."

"Don't. I need a chance to process this and I can't do that with you here. Will you just leave me alone for awhile?" she pleaded.

Callie got up reluctantly and backed towards the door. Arizona looked devastated and it killed her being the one to do this to her.

Arizona sat in stunned silence for a long time. She just couldn't believe that these people, her friends, she reminded herself, had lied to her about something so big. For weeks she had wondered what it would be like to finally remember who she was and they had willingly kept that information from her.

So her name was Arizona and she was a surgeon. Other than the fact that she and Callie were in a relationship, the blonde knew nothing about herself. She needed someone to talk to so she paged Teddy hoping she wasn't in surgery.

Fifteen minutes later, the surgeon showed up in her room looking wary. "I heard what happened."

"Did we know each other well?"

Teddy looked around the room refusing to meet the blonde's eyes. "Yeah, we did. We're friends. We're kind of, uh, best friends."

Arizona deflated. She was hoping there was someone close to her who hadn't lied to her. "Is there anyone in this hospital who hasn't lied to me?" she asked, her tone harsh.

"Yeah," Teddy said clearing her throat nervously. "Would you like me to, uh, send them to you?"

"That'd be super," she replied sarcastically.

Teddy turned quickly and left, relieved to be out of Arizona's line of fire. It didn't take long for another face to show up at her door.

"Uh . . . Altman said you wanted to talk to me," the man said obviously nervous.

"What's your name?"

"Karev. Alex Karev."

"Do I know you?"

"You're kind of my boss. I work with you in Peds," Alex said taking a tentative step into the room. It was good to see his mentor again, even if she didn't know who he was. He had been as heartbroken as everyone when the news of Arizona's death broke. They hadn't been close outside of the hospital, but she was one of the few people who really believed in him and he missed working with her.

"So I'm a pediatric surgeon?"

"Yeah, one of the best."

"Was I a good boss?"

"You kick my ass a lot, but yeah, people like and respect you. I mean, I could do without the rainbows and puppies and crap, but you're a good boss. Why are you asking me about this?"

"Because I just found out who I am, but I can't remember any of it."

"I know that, but why are you asking _me_?"

"Well, because everyone I've come to know and trust while I've been here has been lying to me and I don't want to talk to them right now. They just make me angry."

Alex nodded. He remembered a few days ago when the news of Arizona spread around the hospital. Relief and joy flooded through him and he hoped that when she got her memories back she'd come back to work and replace Stark.

"Okay, well what do you want to know?"

"Explain the rainbows and puppies and crap thing."

"Well, you're perky," he chuckled and moved to sit in the chair next to her bed. "The kids love it. You play hide and seek with them and go along with whatever story they made up that day. There, uh, was this one time when I was having a really bad few months and we had this really sick kid who had been in and out of the hospital for years. She had come back in a few days before her eighth birthday and was devastated because she was going to miss Wicked. She loved that play so much. So on the day she was supposed to go see it you had us all dress up and act out a few scenes for her. I had to play the tin man and complained all day about it. I hated you for making me wear silver face paint and sing along to these sappy songs, but the look on that kid's face was worth all of it. You had just made her dream come true."

"Did she live?"

"She did. She went to New York a couple months ago and sent us pictures from the real Wicked. Said she liked our performance better," he grinned.

"I bet you made a great tin man. Who'd I play?"

"Duh, Glinda."

Arizona had no idea who that was, but judging from the playful glint in the man's eyes, the role fit her perfectly. She continued to pester Alex with questions. What surgeries have we done together? Do we hang out outside of work? When did we first meet? Why was I in Africa? That was the question that seemed to be the hardest for Alex to answer. He told her about the Carter-Madison and that she wanted to help sick children in Malawi, but he only knew so much about her decision to go. Apparently, Callie had been all set to go with her, but something happened at the airport. He didn't have any other details. She felt oddly maternal towards him and knew that she must have liked him a lot.

"What about my family?"

He looked a little uncomfortable, but answered her. "Your mom and dad live in Boston. You had a brother, but he was killed in action a while ago. That's really more of a Callie question."

The blonde nodded and silence fell between them. She got the feeling that Alex was out of answers and she was getting tired anyway. Meredith would be by soon to check on her and would probably force her to get some rest. "Thank you, Alex. I really appreciate your help."

"Anytime, Robbins," he said with a grin. He stood and headed for the door, then turned back to look at her. "I know it's none of my business, but I think you should take it easy on Callie and the others. I know they all lied to you, but they thought you were dead for months. We were all pretty devastated. It's been a bit of a rollercoaster around here and even though they said they didn't tell you for your own good, I think they did it for _their_ own good. I don't think they wanted to rip the wound open again."

/ / /

_February 14, 2011_

It took her a long time to sort through the new information Alex gave her. Arizona was glad the perkiness and optimism were a real part of her; it gave her hope that who she was now wasn't too far from the real her. The real Arizona. She was going to have to ask about that name.

When she woke that morning to Franklin staring back at her she felt the guilty for snapping at Callie. Alex had helped her put things in perspective, like how she never stopped to think about how all of this affected her friends. Callie was in love with her. Despite everything, that knowledge warmed her heart. Knowing that they had been in a relationship explained how easy it was for her to fall for the brunette and how Arizona felt the most comfortable when she was in the room.

There was a soft knock on the door and the blonde was not surprised to see Callie standing unsure in the doorway.

"Hey," Arizona said relieved. "I wasn't sure if you'd come back."

"Is it okay that I'm here?"

"Yes. I've been hoping you'd show up all morning. Come sit."

"How are you feeling?"

"I feel much better than yesterday." Arizona took in Callie's appearance and felt another pang of guilt. Her face looked tired and pale and her hair was pulled into a messy ponytail. She wore the leather jacket Arizona had come to love so much. The blonde did some digging and found that Callie's shift ended late last night and judging from her appearance, the brunette didn't get much sleep. "I want to apologize for my reaction yesterday. I was caught a little off guard."

"You had every right to be angry," Callie said waiving off the apology. "I'm just sorry we didn't tell you right away."

"Can we make a deal? Can you promise to always tell me the truth from now on and I'll promise not to freak out and get mad at you?"

Callie nodded and smiled. "I promise. You're going to ask me a bunch of questions now aren't you?"

"Yup. Ready?" Arizona smiled when Callie nodded. "Why is my name Arizona?"

"You were named after the USS Arizona, it's a battleship. You come from a military family."

"What was my brother's name?"

"Timothy. How do you know about him?"

"Alex Karev told me. He said he was killed in action. Were we close?"

"Yeah, you were very close."

Arizona frowned. Though she didn't remember her brother, she still felt the pain of the loss. "How did you and I meet?"

"You, uh, kissed me in a dirty bar bathroom," Callie smiled at the memory.

"I did not!"

"I promised to tell you the truth, remember? I was having a rough day and you saw me head into the bathroom upset. You came in to cheer me up and kissed me when I didn't quite grasp that you were telling me you were interested once I was ready to start dating again."

"Is that when we started dating?"

"Oh, no. You told me that I was a newborn because I had just started dating women. It took me embarrassing myself in front of your date for you to finally give me a chance. I was mortified that night."

Arizona laughed. "It couldn't have been that bad."

"No, it was bad. I walked up to you all confident and rambled on about all the experience I had. Then you introduced me to your date. I didn't think we were going anywhere after that."

"How'd I change my mind?"

"You told me that you panicked and misjudged the situation. You took me to dinner and the rest is history."

"A history that I can't remember."

They sat in silence for a moment as the weight of the truth hit them. Arizona wanted to remember so badly. She wanted to know what made her decide to go comfort Callie that night and how it felt to kiss her. She wanted to remember how it felt to lay beside her after a hard day, the inside jokes only they knew, and the million other things that were locked deep inside her brain.

"I'm sorry," she said softly. "I can't imagine how hard it must be for you. You thought I was dead and now I'm back but have no memory of our time together. I'm so sorry Callie."

"Hey," the brunette reached out to take Arizona's hand. "It's not your fault. I'm just happy you're alive."

"So where do we go from here?"

"That's really up to you. We can work on getting your memory back or you can decide to start a new life."

It was really a no brainer for Arizona. "I want my memories back. I was scared before, but now I just want to remember all those things you've been telling me. I want to remember my brother, and my parents, and . . . you. Most of all I want to remember everything about you."


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I hope everyone had an awesome Thanksgiving! Once again, thank you all for reading and reviewing this story. It means a lot and I'm glad you're enjoying it. The next chapter is what this story has really been leading up to and I hope to have it up shortly. Enjoy!

_February 14, 2011_

"And this is one of the first pictures we took together." Callie handed Arizona a photo of the two of them at the park. They had gone for a walk between shifts and got caught in the rain. Callie remembered the way Arizona burrowed into her side to keep warm as she held out her arm to take the photo. _"Aww, it's our first picture,"_ Arizona had said as she held the screen up for them both to see. Callie had kissed her then and forgot about the cold.

Arizona studied the photo in her hands. They both looked so happy. She noticed the way she clung to Callie with her head resting lightly on her shoulder and the bright easy smile of the brunette. The edges of the photo were frayed and bits of tape were folded over the corners. It had probably been taped to Callie's locker or maybe even her own before she left for Africa. She wished she could remember this day, but other than the feelings of warmth and longing the photo triggered nothing in her brain, just as the other fifty pictures Callie showed her failed to.

Callie had been patient with her, reliving the memories in glorious detail and answering every question. The blonde loved hearing the stories, but it was like learning about someone else's life.

"It's okay," Callie said picking up on her unease. "You don't have to try so hard to remember."

Arizona realized she was staring and the photo with her brow furrowed from concentration and eased her grip on the picture. She gave the other woman a soft smile. "It seems like a great memory."

"It is. I can take you there if you like. Derek will be releasing you soon."

"I'd like that."

Arizona watched as Callie's hand drifted to the silver heart necklace she always wore. It was a gesture the brunette did often. "What's the story with the necklace? You're always playing with it, especially when you're nervous."

"Oh." Callie's hand froze around the necklace as she peered down to look at it. "It was a Valentine's Day gift from you actually. I got you the same one. It was completely on accident, but we thought it was cute."

"Isn't today Valentine's Day?"

"Yeah, I guess it is."

"You wouldn't happen to know where mine is, would you?"

Callie's brow furrowed as she thought. "You had it with you at the airport before . . . before you left. I'm not sure what happened to it after that. Teddy brought back all your things when she went to Africa. We have them in storage if you want to go through them."

Arizona's parents had asked Callie to go through their daughter's things for them. She hadn't been able to bring herself to do it yet and, save for a few t-shirts, all of Arizona's things still sat in storage. Callie's pager went off, startling both women.

"Damn it. There's a 911 in the pit. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I'll see you tonight though?"

"Of course. There's no one else I'd want to spend Valentine's Day with."

/ / /

_February 16, 2011_

Arizona was more than ready to get out of the hospital. Tonight Callie was going to take her to dinner then for drinks at Joe's. Though they hadn't defined it, in Arizona's mind it was definitely a date. She was nervous, but couldn't wait to be with Callie in a different environment. Recently, Callie had steered their relationship into the platonic zone. There was limited flirtation and innuendo and when they touched it was only in a comforting handhold or a friendly hug. She knew the brunette was trying to distance herself to keep from getting hurt until they could figure this out, but Arizona wanted to start moving things along. She craved physical contact and wanted to see that desiring glint in Callie's eyes. More than that though, she wanted to kiss her. She wanted to kiss her so badly and hoped tonight would be the night for that.

Arizona knew it was time to stop looking to the past and start focusing on the present. It had been a while since the surgery and she still had no memory of her old life at all. Derek had apologized to her the day before for not being able to deliver her memories as promised. _"You gave me a second chance at life. That's really all that matters," _she had told him. If Derek was giving up hope, then she knew it was time she did too. She loved hearing Callie's stories and seeing pictures, but she did it more for Callie's sake than her own. Arizona didn't want to dash the other woman's hopes, but tonight she was going to start focusing on new memories rather than old ones.

"Hey." Callie appeared in the doorway and found the other woman rummaging through a duffel bag. "You ready?"

"Yeah, sorry. I was just looking for something," Arizona said throwing a few items back into the bag. She grabbed her coat and followed the brunette out the door.

"You look great, by the way."

"Thank you. I hope I'm not underdressed. This is the nicest shirt I had." Arizona wore a simple blue top that made her eyes pop. Callie loved when she wore blue.

"It's perfect."

"So tell me about this restaurant. Do we go there a lot?"

"Actually, it's a new place that opened a few weeks ago. I figured we could try something new and give you a break from memory lane."

"I'd like that."

They didn't bring up Arizona's memories at all during dinner. Instead, they talked about Callie's surgeries and the fight she and Karev broke up in the pit. Arizona brought up an article she read in the paper and asked Callie about the book she was reading. It felt like a real first date, not that Arizona would really know, but she felt like they were making progress.

By the time they got to Joe's the bar was packed with people from the hospital. Teddy, Owen, Cristina, and a few surgeons Arizona hadn't met were sitting at a table in the middle of the bar. Teddy waved at her as they walked in, but Callie grabbed her hand and led her to a table in the back. She motioned at Joe to bring them drinks then turned to look at her with a small smile.

"I hope you don't mind, but all they are going to do is ask questions and I just want to spend time with you."

"No, no. I don't mind at all."

Callie's grin grew as their drinks were dropped off. "You know they're staring at us, right?"

"I figured they would. Let's give them something to stare at. Wanna dance?" she asked extending her hand to Callie. The brunette took it and let Arizona lead her past their friends to join the handful of couples on the dance floor. The stereo played some pop song, Rihanna or Lady Gaga she guessed, and she tried her best to stay in rhythm with the music. Even without her memories Arizona knew she wasn't the greatest dancer. Callie, on the other hand, was. Arizona was hypnotized by the brunette's hips and the way her whole body moved in perfect harmony with the beat.

Callie reached out and placed her hands on Arizona's hips with a knowing smile. "Like this," she said guiding her to the rhythm of the song. The blonde moved closer to Callie and wrapped her arms around the other woman's shoulders. Their eyes connected and Arizona imaged the lust and passion she saw in Callie's were reflected in her own. She imagined them doing this before; dancing and drinking at Joe's then heading back to their apartment to act on the passion. It was a ghost of a memory that was long gone before it even had a chance to resister and if not for the look Callie was giving her, Arizona might have been convinced that the memory was more than her imagination. Instead, she watched Callie's eyes drift down to her lips as she slightly licked her own. Arizona leaned in until her face was mere inches away from the brunette's and closed her eyes as Callie closed the distance. She was surprised when Callie's head turned slightly, dodging her lips. "Do you want to take this somewhere else? Our audience is growing."

Arizona snuck a look at their friends' table to see that more surgeons had joined them, including Mark who had a grin on his face and winked in their direction. All eyes were on them, not that Arizona cared. All she could think about were the brunette's lips and how close she had been to kissing her. "Yeah, sure," she said a little breathless. Callie took her hand and led her out of the bar. The cool Seattle air hit them and Callie let go of her hand to put her jacket on. Arizona's first instinct was to just grab her and kiss her, something she's sure she'd done a thousand times, but the mood was effectively killed. They walked back to the hospital exchanging awkward small talk.

"What happened tonight?" Arizona blurted when they finally reached her room. "Things were going so well and I don't understand what changed."

Callie fidgeted with the zipper of her jacket and refused to meet her eyes. "I just didn't like everyone staring at us. I didn't want an audience."

"I know you well enough to know when you're lying. What's the real reason?"

Callie was silent for a moment. "It just felt so familiar. The way we danced and how close we were. I forgot that things were different and when I was about to kiss you all I could think about was how I never thought I'd be able to do that again. Those feelings just confused me."

"But I'm here Callie. I didn't die and I'm right here, but you pull away sometimes and tonight is not the first time it happened."

"I know and I'm sorry," Callie said finally meeting her eyes. "But deep down it kind of feels like I'm cheating on you with you. I know it makes no sense and you are her, but at the same time you're not. And I know that it shouldn't matter because at least you are alive, but every time I think about getting closer to you all I can think about is how you are not _my_ Arizona."

Arizona noticed Callie's eye's fill with tears and she took a step closer to her. "But I can be. I know this is confusing for you, it is for me too, but I think it's time you face that those memories probably aren't going to come back. I already have. I'm ready to start a new life Callie. I'm so tired of living in the past. I'm missing out on how wonderful the present can be."

"What?" Callie said taking a step back and giving her a disbelieving look. "Are you giving up?"

"I don't see it as giving up. I'm just moving on."

"No. Come on, Arizona. Don't you want to remember your life? I want you to remember. I need you to remember."

"But I don't Callie," she said, her voice displaying her growing anger. "I don't need to remember. We could waste months hoping for something that is never going to happen. I've lost over thirty years of my life and I don't want to lose any more."

"I can't believe this," Callie said taking another step back. "I-I . . ." The brunette stopped and started at Arizona a moment before abruptly turning and walking out the door.

"Callie! Callie, wait," Arizona called, but didn't chase after her. She knew there was nothing she could say right now to calm Callie. The other woman needed time and space to process everything and Arizona was going to give it to her.

/ / /

_February 18, 2011_

"I thought I might find you here," Mark said entering the on-call room and sitting on the bed next to Callie. "How are you holding up?"

Callie groaned next to him and rubbed a hand over her face. "I don't know. I still so confused."

"I get that. I mean, if it was Lexie I'd be confused too, but I'd still love her and want to be with her. You still love Blondie, don't you?"

"Of course, I do. Since she left for Africa, all I've wanted was for her to come back. Then we thought she died and I dreamed that she was alive and we'd find each other again, but my brain just can't get over that she doesn't remember our first kiss or the struggle for her to want kids. I can never ask her what she said to my father to make him accept us because she'd never admit it, but I know she talked to him. I'll never know why she left for Africa. I'm just so mad that she's giving up."

Mark nodded. "I know. You've got a short window here Cal, so you're going to have to figure it out soon."

"What do you mean?"

"Because she's leaving in," he checked his watch "three hours and you'll have decide what you want to do before then."

"She's leaving!" she asked sitting up.

"You didn't know? Derek released her this morning and she's flying back to Boston to meet with her parents."

Callie bolted out of bed and headed to Arizona's room. She found the blonde signing papers next to the nurse's station. "You're leaving?" The question came out louder than she intended and Arizona led her into her room and shut the door so they'd have some privacy.

"Yes. I'm going to see my parents in Boston. Thank you for keeping them updated, by the way." Callie had been in contact with Barbara and Daniel since she found out Arizona was alive. They wanted to get on the first plane to Seattle, but Daniel had recently had knee surgery and couldn't fly so Callie had given them regular updates.

"Why?"

"You know why, Callie. I want to give this thing a shot, but you obviously need some time to come to terms with the fact that I'm not going to get my memories back. Without you there's really nothing for me here. Plus, I think it's time I see my parents. I'm sure they've been through Hell."

Callie was speechless. She noticed the packed duffel bag sitting by the door and lost it. "You can't leave me again."

"Hey, it's okay," the blonde said as she moved to wrap the crying woman in a hug. "I'm not leaving forever. We just need time to assess the situation. I'll come back in a few weeks or you could come visit me in Boston."

Callie clung to Arizona. "The last time you left you didn't come back."

"I'll come back. I promise."


	8. Chapter 8

_February 18, 2011_

Arizona hated flying. She didn't know if it was a new thing or if she always did, but the thought of getting on the plane in an hour made her insides churn. Teddy had dropped her off at the airport with a hug and a promise to come visit in a few weeks. It didn't feel like a goodbye with Teddy, not the way it did with Callie. The brunette wanted to take her to the airport, but they knew a long goodbye would kill them both. So they just stood there holding each other for awhile until Arizona found the strength to pull away. She kissed Callie's forehead and repeated her promise to come back. The blonde shook her head trying to clear her mind. It was hard enough leaving Callie, she didn't need to replay the events of the day over and over.

Sea-Tac was busy this Friday night. The crowd suffocated her, which forced Arizona to find a less busy corner of the gate to sit. She leaned back in her chair, rested her head against the wall and closed her eyes. Callie's perfume still lingered on her clothes and despite her efforts not to think about the brunette, the scent was comforting. Arizona inhaled deeply. The scent of Callie's perfume was mixed with . . . burnt toast? It must be from the food court around the corner that served an all day breakfast.

She remembered that scent. That same restaurant produced it the night she and Callie were supposed to leave for Malawi. They had stopped a few gates down from here and started yelling at each other. Arizona felt the pain of that moment as she remembered Calliope's devastated look and the way her girlfriend's voice sounded when she begged her not to leave.

Calliope. _Calliope_. Arizona remembered that night. She _remembered_. The blonde bolted upright in her chair, startling the woman next to her. She narrowed her eyes in concentration trying to keep hold of the memory before it faded away.

"_If you get on that plane. If you go without me we are done. Do you hear me? We are over."_ The words echoed in Arizona's mind. She'd gotten on the plane. She had walked away. _"We are standing in the middle of an airport screaming at each other. We're already over."_ Her mind kicked in to overdrive trying to recover more memories, but there was nothing but the scene at the airport. It was enough though. She knew all of this was real, not just some story of someone else's life. The pain of that moment reminded her of how much she truly loved Callie and how hard it had been to walk away from her. Arizona grabbed her phone and dialed the brunette's number. It went straight to voice mail. She figured Callie had gone straight home after work.

She was probably lying in bed with tear stained cheeks failing to sleep like she had many nights during their baby fight. Callie had come home one night to find Arizona feigning sleep on the edge of the bed. She had crawled into bed next to her. _"My cousin's baby punched her in the face. Literally. She had a black eye from a one year old. Who needs it, right? I don't need that."_ Arizona pictured the purple shirt Callie wore and the defeated look on her face. _"Don't,"_ she had whispered, then she kissed her as their relationship fell to pieces around them.

"Ma'am? Are you okay?"

Arizona's head snapped up to see the woman staring at her in concern. "I-I'm fine," she managed to say. "Thank you." The woman gave her one more concerned look before her eyes drifted back to her paper. Arizona grabbed her bag and snaked her way through the masses of people and out of the airport. She thought about calling Teddy to pick her up, but knew it would take too long. She had to see Callie _now_. A cab pulled up and she jumped in giving the driver Callie's address.

"Seattle Grace, right?" _Ortho, right?_

"Excuse me?" she asked, her eyes wide.

"That address is near the hospital, right?"

"Yes it is, actually."

"_It is, actually. The talk. People really like you over there. They respect you and they're concerned and interested. They really like you. Some of them really like you."_ Arizona closed her eyes savoring the new memory. This was a happy moment. She had been waiting for this one since she first arrived at Seattle Grace. _"You wanna give me some names?"_

Arizona smiled. She remembered how taken she was with Callie in that moment. The brunette had been so sad and all she wanted to do was make her happy again. Callie had fought for her. They barely knew each other and Callie fought hard to convince her to give them a chance. Something swirled within Arizona's chest. Was it anger? Hurt?

"_I just want you to know that I'm hurt. I am hurt and I am angry. Because I thought that we had something. I thought that we were going somewhere."_ Callie hadn't fought very hard this time. It didn't take much for the brunette to let her go. Arizona knew things were complicated beyond words and their situation was so unique and messy, but still she was a little hurt that Callie had let her go. _"I thought- I thought that last night would be the night for us. You know? Our night."_

/ / /

Callie was exhausted. Getting through her shift after Arizona left had been nearly impossible. She had come straight home and collapsed on the bed in a fit of tears. She was reminded of the way she and Arizona would lay in bed comforting each other when life through one too many curveballs at them. It amazed her how _everything_ reminded her of Arizona, yet _nothing_ seemed to remind Arizona of her.

After Arizona and Teddy left the hospital, Callie had been so close to chasing after them. She went so far as to grab her keys and head for the door, but she doubted it would accomplish much. There was nothing new she could say to make Arizona stay and she didn't feel like another heartbreaking airport break-up. Still, her heart was screaming at her to chase after the blonde.

If she could only sleep. With the stress of Arizona and her full OR schedule, Callie hadn't had a good night's sleep all week. She closed her eyes and let her mind wander, like she often did, to what would have happened if Arizona had safely gotten on that plane in Malawi. She'd probably show up to the apartment late at night. Well, she would have still been at Mark's apartment then. Maybe Callie would hear a knock and think it was Mark who was prone to forgetting his keys. "Okay, so picture this. I'm in Africa and everything's great and the people are so nice and the clinic is amazing and I'm doing work that actually feels important," Arizona would say. Callie figured she would have stood there in stunned silence as the blonde spoke. When she was done, Callie imagined she would have closed the door in her face. Back then, her anger would have won out against her happiness at seeing the other woman. Now though, after living through months of thinking Arizona was dead, there was no way she could imagine ever turning the blonde away.

There was a knock at the door that Callie figured was a result of her daydream, but when it sounded again, louder this time, she pulled herself out of bed to see who it was. She was shocked to see the subject of her daydream standing on the other side of the door.

"Arizona? Shouldn't you be on a plane right now?"

"I just wanted you to know that I am mad at you," the blonde answered, ignoring her question. She walked past Callie and threw her jacket over the back of the couch. The brunette walked passed her to turn on the light and took a moment to enjoy the fact that Arizona was standing in front of her.

"Mad at me? What did I do?"

"You were going to let me leave! After everything we've been through, you were just going to let me leave?"

Callie's brow furrowed in confusion. "Let you leave? I'm pretty sure I practically begged you to stay. You were the one who wanted to go to Boston."

_"I hate hate hate this merger, because I hate long distance relationships. I don't believe in them. So, you can't move to Portland."_

_"Well, when I mentioned it this afternoon you didn't seem to mind. You were like, 'Move to Portland.'"_

_"I didn't know that I was allowed to mind. I didn't know if we were girlfriends. But then you said girlfriend. You called me your girlfriend. So I need to know. Am I your girlfriend?"_

"That's crap, Calliope. I was looking for you to give me a reason to stay."

"How was I . . ." Callie froze. Calliope. Did Arizona just call her Calliope? "Did you just call me Calliope? You've never called me that before."

Arizona couldn't help the way the corners of her mouth pulled up. "I always call you Calliope. Actually, I'm the only one you like calling you that."

They stared at each other in an unspoken conversation and all Callie could feel was her heart pounding in her chest. "Arizona?" she whispered, her voice filled with emotion.

Arizona's smile grew wider and she nodded. In a blink, Callie closed the distance between them, crashing their lips together. The kiss was filled with the longing and pent up passion of the last few months. Arizona's hands mirrored Callie's as she reached up to grab the brunette's face and pulled her closer. _"I love you so much and I can't live without you and our ten kids."_

When they parted, Arizona wrapped her arms around Callie's neck and rested their foreheads together. Callie's hands remained on the blonde's face as a small sob escaped her lips. "I missed you so much."

Arizona tilted her head so their eyes could meet. "I love you," she said as her voice cracked, her own emotion overtaking her. "I've been waiting to tell you that for months."

"I love you," Callie replied. She kissed her again. It was slower this time, each taking time to revel in the moment in case this was some cruel joke the universe was playing on them until they woke up from this dream.

"How? When?" Callie asked when they broke apart again.

"At the airport. I had about fifteen minutes until my flight was going to board and then I remembered our fight before I left for Africa. I hopped in a cab and came straight here."

"What do you think finally triggered it?"

"Burnt toast," Arizona said. She laughed softly at Callie's confused look. "My gate was near where we had our fight. I smelled burnt toast from a restaurant like I did that night. It triggered that first memory. Now I get these flashes of random memories."

"So you don't remember everything?"

"Not yet," she said grabbing Callie's hand reassuringly. "But I remember I how much I love you. I remember the shooting and how it made me realize I want to have a family with you. And I remember thinking you could be the one I had waited my whole life for when I kissed you in that dirty bar bathroom."

Callie sighed in relief and smiled. "You have no idea how good it is to finally hear you say that. And for the record, I've been laying here thinking about how I should have chased after you when you left for the airport."

"Good because I couldn't imagine you giving up so easily."

The brunette's eyes drifted to Arizona's neck and she reached up to pull a silver chain from beneath her shirt. She smiled when she recognized the silver necklace. "You found it."

"I did," Arizona said, placing her hand over Callie's. "I was actually looking for it a few nights ago when you came to pick me up for our date. I knew I had seen it before and found it in an envelope in my duffel bag. There was a note that said it was the only piece of clothing they were able to salvage after the accident. I was wearing it the day it happened."

"I started wearing mine after I heard you . . . after I heard you died." Callie's voice hitched and Arizona wrapped her in a hug. The brunette wrapped her arms around Arizona's neck and welcomed the comfort she found there. They stood there for a few minutes, neither in a hurry to leave the other's embrace.

"_What are you doing? You'll get the chicken pox."_ Arizona smiled into Callie's hair at the memory. _"So, I get the chicken pox." _Even when comforting the other woman, the place Arizona felt the safest was in Callie's arms. She couldn't describe how amazing it felt to be able to hold her again. When she decided to leave Africa she had no idea how Callie would react to her return and even then wondered if she would be able to do this again.

"So what do we do now?"

"Well, we have a lot to talk about," Arizona said meeting Callie's eyes. "But that can wait until morning. All I know right now is that I love you." Callie grinned as Arizona grabbed her hand and led her toward the bedroom. "So I'm going to take you to bed to show you just how much."

/ / /

A/N: Don't worry! This is not the end of the story. We've still got a couple of chapters to go. Thank you all for the support!

For those interested, I've made a fanmix of songs for this story. I put a link to the tumblr post where you can download it in my profile.


	9. Chapter 9

That morning Callie woke before the sun. Arizona's head was tucked under her chin, her breath tickling the brunette's collarbone. It was like a dream. Callie would be convinced it was if not for the way the blonde's body burned every inch of hers as they lay tangled together. She heard a faint beeping from the living room and groaned when she realized it must be her pager. _Leave it_, she told herself. _They'll get along fine without you_. The surgeon made it another five minutes before she gently detangled herself from Arizona to turn off the offending device.

She padded into the kitchen where her pager lay silent on the counter. The beeping blared again and she moved to find the source of the noise. The beeping turned into a ringing as she moved to fish the phone out of Arizona's coat, which still lay draped over the couch.

"Hello," she answered sleepily. Who would be calling Arizona?

"Callie?"

Callie's spine stiffened at the voice and was instantly alert. "Yes, Colonel, it's me. What's wrong?"

"You tell me. Arizona left us a vague message last night saying she was staying in Seattle. What's going on? Is she with you?"

Callie blushed and snuck a glance into the bedroom where Arizona lay sprawled across the bed, blue sheet failing to conceal her bare body.

"Yeah . . . I mean, yes, Sir. She came over last night after recalling some memories."

"Arizona got her memories back? Put her on the phone please, I'd like to speak with her."

Callie glanced at the clock. It was barely 6:00 AM, but she knew the Colonel did not care about the early hour. She debated waking Arizona up, but guessed a surprise attack from her father so early would not please the blonde.

"Daniel, give the poor girl a break," Barbara said, saving Callie from denying the Colonel. She figured Arizona's mom had been listening on the line the whole time, like she did when Callie called to give them status updates on their daughter. "Callie, dear, don't worry about waking Arizona up, but please have her call us after you two are done . . . getting reacquainted."

Callie blushed again, but assured the Robbins' she'd have their daughter call as soon as she woke up. She set the phone next to her pager on the counter and made her way back into the bedroom. Arizona had somehow managed to sprawl across the mattress, her tiny body taking up the entire space. The brunette smiled as she climbed back in, gently pushing Arizona to the side to make room. Arizona sighed as she molded back into Callie's body.

"It's too early. Why are you up?" she mumbled.

"Your parents called."

Callie chuckled as Arizona's head snapped up, her eyes wide in surprise. "Come on, Arizona. You had to know your father would call after that cryptic message you left him."

"What'd he say?"

"Well he wanted me to wake you up, but your mom saved me. You need to call them when we're up."

Arizona sighed in relief and smiled at the brunette. "I will, but right now I need more cuddle time." Callie smiled and held the blonde tighter as they drifted back to sleep.

/ / /

Callie's pager did go off a few hours later. She had just started breakfast when the beeping startled her. Arizona looked over from her spot on the couch, giving her a knowing nod before going back to her conversation with her parents.

She turned off the stove and headed to the bedroom to get changed. Arizona followed her in a few minutes later.

"How are your parents?"

"They're good. My dad grilled me about everything I remember, but it was nice talking to them. You have to go in?"

"Yeah," Callie nodded apologetically. "One of my patients is having complications. It shouldn't take too long."

"I'll go with you. I should see Shepherd anyway."

"Lunch after if I don't have to go into surgery?"

"Of course," Arizona said walking over to put her arms around Callie. They stayed there silently for a moment, foreheads pressed together, breathing each other in. "I know we have a lot to talk about and work through, but I'm really glad I'm here with you."

"I'm glad too," she said before placing a soft kiss on Arizona's lips. "We better go or else we'll never leave this room."

They dressed quickly and headed to the hospital hand in hand. Callie left to her patient's room and Arizona went off in search of Shepherd. It felt good to be back in the hospital, not as a patient because God knows she was over that, but this place was her second home and she missed the familiar faces she saw in the hallway. She caught the strange glances people gave her as she made her way to the surgical floor. By now they all knew that she should have been in Boston and in a few hours she guessed the hospital would be abuzz gossiping about why she was still in Seattle. Callie, she imagined they'd say, she stayed for Callie. They'd be right of course. Arizona promised herself on that cab ride the night before that she would never leave without Callie again. If she had to go somewhere, she was dragging the brunette with her. Though Arizona imagined Callie wouldn't put up much of a fight. Sometime last night between the crying and the kissing they had made an unspoken promise never to leave each other again.

She made it to the board and wasn't surprised that Shepherd was in surgery. He'd be done in a couple of hours so she figured she'd go watch Karev's surgery from the gallery. He was assisting Stark, who she figured must be her replacement. On the way she passed a frantic intern, James she thinks his name is, who gave her a puzzled look but kept running down the hallway. Damn, even interns she barely knew knew her drama.

The gallery was empty, which she was thankful for. Arizona needed time to sort through the past twenty four hours and her muddled memories. Her flashes came in spurts, a smell, sight, or word would trigger something. Sometimes her memories didn't even come in flashes, they were just there, recalled automatically like they should be. The one thing she still had no memories of was the accident. How did they find a plane ticket on her? And what was her ID doing in the cab that blew up? Who was the real Sarah?

There had been a woman at a coffee shop. At least she thinks there had been a coffee shop. She had been in a hurry . . . and Arizona offered her the cab? She had a faint picture in her brain of the woman, but that was it. After everything else was figured out, Arizona would work on that memory and try to find out what happened. For now, she was content to watch Karev in action. Well, Stark in action. Alex was a capable resident, but Stark was treating him like an intern. Five minutes of watching Stark yell at Karev for making a call he didn't agree with and Arizona couldn't take it anymore.

"Karev's right you know," she said pressing down the intercom button.

All eyes were on her in a second.

"Excuse me?"A wave of disdain for her replacement surged through her. She hated Stark's attitude.

"Karev and I performed a similar surgery last year using the Intersect Method. It drastically cuts down rejection rates and recovery time."

"Who are you to tell me what to do in my OR?"

"That's Dr. Robbins," Karev said, smiling through his scrub cap. She returned the smile and gave him a slight nod.

"Ah," Stark said, eyes returning to the patient in front of him. "You are the amnesiac doctor. Last I checked you weren't fit to practice medicine. Now leave the gallery before I have security escort you out."

Alex and Arizona both glared at him. She caved to his threat though, knowing she had no right to be offering medical advice. Before taking her finger off the intercom she heard Alex call Stark an ass and she offered the resident one last small smile.

/ / /

"I heard you made quite the commotion in Stark's surgery today."

"Yeah, not my best moment." She watched as Derek stifled a yawn across from her. They'd been talking for the past half hour about her memories and the path that led "Sarah" back to Seattle Grace. "I'm sorry to bother you after your surgery; I know you must be exhausted."

"It's no problem at all. I'm just glad that you're getting better, not that I can take much credit for it. I think your brain needed that emotional trigger that unlocked everything. Still, I'd like to run a few scans just to see where we're at. Unfortunately, the hospital is going to make you go through a lot of rigorous testing before you can get your license back."

"Oh, I know I'm nowhere near able to practice medicine," Arizona said with a wave of her hand. "My lecture to Stark, notwithstanding."

Derek chuckled. She guessed he wasn't a big fan on her replacement either. "I'll get out of your hair and let you get back to work."

"I'll have Meredith schedule some scans," he said standing and following her to the door.

"Thank you, Derek, for everything. I know it must have been hard keeping this a secret and dealing with the wrath I know Callie and Teddy rained down on you. You were looking out for my best interest and I really appreciate that. Without you I'd still be stuck in Canada."

"You're welcome, Arizona. I'm really glad everything worked out."

Arizona reached over to give him a hug then made her way to meet Callie. It'd only been a couple of hours, but she missed the brunette desperately.

"Hey," Callie said hurrying to catch up with her.

"Hey, I was just on my way to meet you."

Callie gave her a quick kiss and a smile when she reached her and led them to the nurses' station to drop off her chart. "Good news, my patient didn't need surgery so we have the rest of the day to ourselves."

"Awesome. Let's grab some takeout. I'm starving."

"I'm sure you are after the beat down you gave Stark."

"Not you too," Arizona sighed. "The chief is never going to hire me back after that."

Callie raised an eyebrow and gave her a skeptical look. "I know what you're thinking, Callie. And no, I'm not actually thinking about going back to work anytime soon."

"What are you planning on doing?"

It was a simple question, but Arizona knew it was so much more. Callie was asking if she was staying, if she was planning on running again, if they were going to be together. "You really want to do this here?"

The brunette shrugged. "Not if you don't want to."

Arizona could see the crumbling façade in front of her and knew delaying the conversation any longer could lead to disaster. She grabbed Callie's arm and lead her to the nearest on-call room, locking the door behind them.

"We really don't have to do this now, Arizona."

"I think we do," the blonde replied sitting Callie down on the bed. She paced in front of her looking for the right words. Normally she was so good at speeches, but right now they had so much to sort through that she couldn't find her words.

"Look, I . . . we should probably . . . I just want you to know-"

Callie reached out a hand to stop Arizona and gently pulled her down to sit next to her. "You're babbling and the pacing is making me dizzy."

Arizona smiled softly and paused to collect her thoughts. "I know we have a lot to talk about. Africa, the accident, what the hell we're going to do now, but I'm going to cut to the chase and tell you that I love you. I love you so much, Calliope. And I know I hurt you by leaving and that you don't understand why I did it. I don't even fully understand why I did it, but in that moment I knew Africa was not what you wanted. You would have hated it and we would have grown to resent and hate each other. There would have been no coming back from that. And I know that's ridiculous, me thinking that we could come back from me leaving you in an airport, but I panicked and I bailed and I have no words to adequately express how sorry I am for hurting you."

Callie looked away from her trying to mask her hurt and Arizona took a minute to compose herself. With a shaky breath she continued, "I was coming back for you, to be with you. The work I was doing was great and I was helping so many kids, but I was miserable. The kind of miserable that just leaves you hollow and I knew the only way to fill that void was to come back here and beg for your forgiveness. So that's what I planned to do. Then the accident happened and my God, Callie, I can't even imagine how horrible that was for you. I know there's not much I can do to fix the damage that's been done, but I need you to know that there is nothing I want more than to be with you. I love you."

She met Callie's watery eyes and could not stop the tears that fell from her own. The silence grew louder as her hands fidgeted in her lap. She desperately wanted to reach out to find comfort in the brunette's embrace, but chose instead to give the other woman space. Callie must have read her thoughts because she reached out to grab Arizona's hand.

"You were dead, Arizona," Callie said softly. "For months you were gone, then you were dead and I was so mad at you. I was mad that you left. I was even mad that you were going to come back because I thought it got you killed. But then I saw you again in that hospital room and had no more hate. In that moment I realized that I never really hated you. I just . . . you just really hurt me Arizona, but it didn't matter anymore because you were alive. Even though you didn't have your memories, you were breathing and laughing and close enough for me to touch. So believe me when I say that I love you too and all I want, all I've ever wanted is for us to be together."

Callie kissed her then, softly. She had forgiven Arizona long before today. All she wanted now was to focus on their future. She knew what it was like to live without the blonde and it was horrible. The feeling she had now was indescribable. The vows and the kids and the white picket fence were no longer just a dream of what could have been, but what will be.

She pulled Arizona closer and smiled into the kiss.

* * *

><p>AN: That's it! We've reached the end. I know I said there would be a few more chapters, but this seemed like a more natural ending than what I had originally planned. In the future I might do some kind of sequel, but for now this is it. I also want to apologize for the long delay in getting this chapter out. I've been without a computer for awhile and life got a bit hectic.

I really want to thank all of you who read and reviewed this story. I'm really glad you enjoyed it!


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